(based on nothing)

"People ask me about the name. "Thom Pain." I don't answer. Or I say, "It's been in the family a while." Or I say, "Child Harold," for no reason. Then one of us walks away.

Anyway, the boy lay down behind the dog, holding her. He closed his own eyes with his fingers. The boy lay in a puddle behind his former dog, whispering, "I do. I do." He came home later, without stick or dog. No one noticed him, the change in him. The boy got some scissors and cut his hair half-off. He drew a simple bone on his stomach with some of his mother's lipstick. He tucked himself badly into bed. He sang a little song without words or tune. He lay there, awake, breathing too much, biting a crayon, trying to hold everything in. The boy smelled of dead wet dog. His legs shook and he wet his bed. (Brief pause.) This all being an example of - I don't know - how some days can go, of actual life, of the close relations between man and animal.

Now, imagine a pink elephant. Now, stop.

(Pause.)

Good. Wait a minute? There. Thank you, sir.

(Pause.)

(With earnest enthusiasm.) Now I think would be a good time for the raffle. I hope you held on to your tickets, on the back of which is a number. We have some very nice prizes. (He checks around the stage, seeming to get ready for the raffle, looking back to the booth, etc.)

All right, are you ready? Okay. Here we go. Who has the luck with him tonight? This'll be fun.

(Pause. Simply but somewhat gravely.)

There is no raffle. Who said there was going to be a raffle? The good news is, you didn't lose. You lost nothing except the time it took to find this out. Which is a pretty big chunk. Someday, some minute, you'll have thirty seconds to live. Think of me, my little comic bit about the raffle. Think of me, fucking around with your life, and try to smile."

(ENO, Will. Thom Pain (based on nothing). New York: Dramatists Play Service Inc., 2005. p. 12-3)